I can live with the fact that couples are separating. I am able to accept, understand that separations are sometimes beneficial for one to another and sometimes even for the two formerly beloved. I am able to understand the tears, the dualities, spite, malice, bitterness but also the gratitude for each other, for what it was, for his contributions, shared, self-invested Similarly, his sincerity, his tender gestures, his kindness, authenticity or ability to compromise during the relationship.
I knew a number of separated couples and almost all have been through the anger, contempt, misunderstanding and denigration of the other until a balance and sometimes revised, improved will eventually move back into the new configuration of the relationship.
This despite all my efforts I can not understand is the total divestment of a father (most often) of his children during a separation after have been a loving father and now for months, even years.
I look, I look really clear how an emotional break can be for small (or large) that humans have nothing to do with separation from adults. We can have a thousand good reasons to be angry that was our love but I do not understand, in fact, I can not feel that we can also project the emotional disconnection on his own children whose loyalty to both parents is generally ; not affected by separation.
do not know how explain it. Is involuntary and unconscious way for fathers to cut everything that could still bind to the mother he no longer likes or not, he still loves her too badly? Is this intentional release of its progeny to indirectly affect the other parent? A parent once invested, tender and affectionate with her brood can not really get to feel anything strictly for your child? Is it numb the tear, and therefore not lucid in his actions and choices? The detachment is it the result of external influence? Father Is he so blinded by his bitterness for the other parent that is desensitized to suffering and rejection he inflicts on his children? Is it a necessary (although devastating) self-protection mechanism to allow a setback to the parent mired in his anger to pave the way for an eventual return to balance? The suffering of children would become an inevitable collateral damage?
I do not doubt the love of separated fathers to their children. Far from it. The existence of this love makes it doubly difficult to understand precisely the absolute detachment to show some respect their brats as if nothing of the relationship had started with them important.
There is necessarily an explanation. A psychological state that I have not correctly identified, no doubt?
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